Ah *cracks sparkling water* I’ve missed writing Gentle Musings and am so glad to be typing right now. My cat has her little paws clenched tightly around my left hand as I type, a new quirk.
To sit down after weeks away felt daunting… One of my intentions for this year is to continually return to creative desire: what do I want to make and share, and do I dare to follow that desire?
I dare.
So, today’s letter is a total grab bag—I imagine it like a digital journal, full of weaving thoughts and whatever else belongs. Let’s see where it goes together.
Early today, I ate a strawberry truffle in the backseat of my friend’s red car, a moment that felt simple and nostalgic. I’m carrying this moment into writing now with the intention of this as a micro repose, in both the act of writing and reading.
Because these times require enormous resilience and capacity for both grief and action, I’m committed to micro reposes, micro delights, micro expressions… noticing them, making them, and inviting people to share them with me. When everything feels too much, what’s micro sustains me. So that’s what this is.
I’m committed to working less and serving more—not a paradox. In the words of Thomas Merton:
Set me free from the laziness that goes about disguised as activity when activity is not required of me, and from the cowardice that does what is not demanded, in order to escape sacrifice.
Within Gentle Musings, I’m committed to sharing more stories this year, more everyday moments, more behind-the-scenes. I’m also excited about writing things like this with complementary video, like video commentary with enough space for tangential thoughts and maybe show and tells. If you want that, please let me know by giving this a like—that’s helpful feedback.
Playing on loop as I write this: Not Given Lightly by Chris Knox. I heard it while eating gummy candy at a table, in a smoke-filled dining room at a sake party, looking at my partner from across the table when it came on the boombox next to me.
In my corner of life, this is February’s song, it’s decided.
In December, I was sick on-and-off and barely stopped working. I was kicking myself again for working such intense hours—a 2024 resolution that took a tailspin—feeling the collective exhaustion of the rising costs to make ends meet. Reckoning with the weight of all humanity has survived, only to find ourselves here.
In January, I visited family in the lowlands and kicked off Pivoting Toward Wholeness while staying in a model home in a retirement community. In the weeks that followed, I stepped back from anything work-related that wasn’t teaching Pivoting (and taking it too, I go through the curriculum as a participant each time) and working with my cherished private clients in creative mentorship.
In these weeks of changing how I show up, my thoughts keep orbiting around the thought: I’m done doing what I think I should do.
No more. An unexpected theme that’s emerged through the practices in PTW has been radical agency. This last week we talked about the principles that give our lives direction and energy, and we practiced identifying or refining these principles. Living according to one’s principles is a way of creatively living into radical agency.
So if I’m not busy doing what I think I should do… what will I dare to do more of?
I’ll share more about what this means for Regarding Dew soon. One thing, as I shared in the beginning and as I’m doing now, is showing more of my creative process in process. This is difficult because I only feel comfortable sharing small glimpses online, and then making them as honest and expansive as I can. Even offline, this has always been my modus operandi.
Thank you for reading and supporting Gentle Musings, a publication of the creative research studio Regarding Dew. If you enjoyed this, please share it, give it a like, or comment below 💚
Cleaning out my closet the other week, I found a zine from an old roommate, made almost exactly 10 years ago. It wasn’t my first time reading it but it was the first time I noticed these sentences: “I really enjoy talking to maggy. I think her perspective of the world is beautiful, delicate, and admirable, even though our conversation are mere peaks into this vision. I’m grateful that she’s here.”
Whatever words could capture what it was like to read that as I sat on the wood floor by a pile of papers, they aren’t here right now. I just looked up and stared at the wall in astonishment.
Back then, I constantly questioned whether my perspective mattered at all. That doubt had long made me feel unseen, like an outsider no matter how socially ‘inside’ I managed to be. We really have no idea how others appreciate us unless they tell us.
Writing publicly was one of the early pieces of evidence that my perspective wasn’t just heard but actually meant something to other people. And today, I have these moments where I still can’t believe I get to help visionary women own and share their perspective alongside the fear of being seen.
Back to rooting into radical agency and unshoulding this year: I’m considering going mostly offline in February. I’m working through the Artist’s Way for the first time and coming up on the reading deprivation week. Since it was written before the internet, I’m thinking of going all in on a media deprivation week. This feels very subversive and unpleasant.
So for the rest of February, I want to cut out what I call ambient internet time and finally read the stack of articles that I giddily bookmarked. And clean out my Obsidian… I might actually do this during the co-harvesting session tomorrow. I’ve set calendar reminders for when to check the news so I’m not practicing a reactive, destabilized inner state. I want to enjoy a life with way less screen and way more immediacy. More moments like this:
More sitting on the floor making things. One thing I’m eager and intimidated to make is a hand painted lamp shade for my old thrifted lamp. I was inspired by the lamps in the Charleston Farmhouse, the home of Vanessa Bell, and want to try my hand at making one. The thing is, I’m afraid to mess up! But that’s ok, I’m also willing to mess up.
More strength training and dancing this year. Aging has been on my mind… aging parents, aging friends, aging neighbors. I see how important it is to fill up on sleep, walks, laughter, and to find joy in building strength. More protein this year! More vitamin D! I’m looking forward to all of this, especially to cycle-sync it (not perfectly, just resourcefully).
Less waiting, less ruminating, and less swimming in the sea of doubt. More simplifying everything.
More pleasure reading alongside my deep study practices. More embarrassing myself in French. More walking as a core creative practice. More movie nights on the projector with friends and homemade focaccia. More daring myself to be in fierce intimacy with life.
New here? Welcome <3 Thanks for stopping by. I help people feel more themselves through deepening in their creativity—a major part of that looks like meeting fear, resistance, and the many shoulds we carry. You can learn more about who I am and what I do here.
absolutely a joy to peek into the beautiful details of your creative life!! wow. Love the scene of hearing chris knox on the boombox. cinematic!!!